I Hate My Roommate because she's egotistical, loves interrupting, and playing the one up game. Her opinions are the only ones that matter in her delusional mind. Half the things she says are a complete fabrication. I'll be a millionaire by 30, I'm the smartest person in the world, I'm amazing at my job yada yada yada. I hate her voice, bad breath, and sense of "style".
Recommendation - . Every time you see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the
stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
I Hate My Roommate because i don't just hate one roommate. I hate all three of them. One throws parties every weekend. And the only "way" he'll clean them is through hazing his fraternity pledges. The other two won't help clean even if asked.
Recommendation - . Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell him/her that you're
not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
I Hate My Roommate because she NEVER cleans up after herself, is an arrogant douchebag, and depends on me to walk her dog when she's gone on one of her many drunken escapades. Counting down the days until I never have to deal with her ever again.
Recommendation - . Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon as you
wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses.
Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
I Hate My Roommate because sHE WON'T WALK HER DOG. I don't know how the heck she was raised, but where I come from a dog poops OUTSIDE. Not in the bathroom, or on the carpet, or on the kitchen floor. YOU WON'T HAVE TO LOCK HIM UP IN THE BATHROOM ALL THE TIME IF YOU JUST WALKED HIM 3 TIMES A DAY AND LET HIM POOP OUTSIDE.
Recommendation - . Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective
student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate
protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings.
Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.
I Hate My Roommate because tURN YOUR STUPID MUSIC OFF. It's 3am and I have an exam tomorrow.
Recommendation - . Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the
toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the
window. Say that the toaster made you do it.